Fairfax, VA (TDP) – The National Rifle Association today announced that it would no longer be promoting its school safety plan to arm teachers in the nation’s 100,000 public schools. NRA Executive Director Wayne LaPierre unveiled a new plan that would, instead, train the majority of existing AR-15 assault rifle owners in the U.S. for a career in teaching. “There are over 5 million AR-15 weapons owned by responsible, law-abiding American citizens and just 3.1 million public school teachers in the United States. Do the math. We don’t have to arm our existing teachers. We just need to replace them.”
The new ‘NRA Normal School’ hopes to have over one million trained and heavily-armed teachers available by the beginning of the Fall school season. In addition to cursory instruction in math, science, and English, the Normal School will offer a rigorous curriculum in weapons training including AR-15 tactical fast reloading, marksmanship, and hostage negotiating. “We’ll plan to replace the music, art, and gym teachers first,” LaPierre commented, “How difficult can those jobs really be?”
The NRA has also expressed its full support for background checks and mandatory waiting periods for prospective teachers. “We can’t let the teaching of our nation’s youth fall into the wrong hands, “LaPierre added.
“Guns don’t kill students’ dreams. Unarmed teachers do.”