Washington, DC (TDP) – In an effort to advocate bipartisanship within its deeply divided ranks, the House of Representatives today approved funding for the promotion of additional shocking tragedies in the United States […]
Mass-shooting rookie James Hodgkinson disappointed crazed, left-wing zealots across the country, hitting just 5 for 50 in his radically violent debut. The portly 66-year-old from Belleville, IL seemed tentative in his first […]
The National Rifle Association expressed its relief today that none of it most passionate supporters were among those injured in the Alexandria, VA congressional baseball shooting. NRA Executive Director Wayne LaPierre […]
Reputed comedian Kathy Griffin today severed her own head in a follow-up to her hugely popular Trump-beheading photo. The accidental decapitation was captured on film during a photo shoot with […]
Foxborough, MA (TDP) – Former New England Patriot All-Pro Tight End Aaron Hernandez has added his name to the list of Patriot players who will not be visiting the White House […]
Chicago, IL (TDP) – United Airlines (UAL) today announced plans to offer fee-based upgrades for passengers wishing to smoke on any of its domestic or international flights. United’s new “Butt” fee […]
Providence, RI (TDP) – Fulfilling a keystone campaign promise, President Donald Trump today announced the addition of “thousands” of new coal jobs to the nation’s economy. Speaking at the opening […]
New York City area hospitals were placed on high alert on Opening Day of the Major League Baseball season and will remain so until further notice. “Based on a risk assessment of the […]
In an impromptu announcement at a local intersection this afternoon, city resident Jeffrey Pritchard, 53, left no doubt as to his feelings regarding ownership of the local roadways. “Yeah pal, I […]
Washington, DC (TDP) – U.S. Diplomacy, a tenet of our nation since its birth, died at home in Washington, D.C. this week, surrounded by family and friends. He was 240. Born in […]
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