August 2017 - The Daily Parodian

February 23, 2025

News Tickler

[ February 26, 2024 ] Jesus Responds to ‘He Gets Us’ Ad Campaign Entertainment
[ February 26, 2021 ] Local Man Worried He Left House Without Shutting Off Internet Local News
[ December 18, 2020 ] Dr. Seuss to Oversee COVID Vaccine Distribution News
[ November 21, 2020 ] Republicans McConnell, Graham, Cruz Frantically Search Senate Utility Closets For Missing Testicles News
[ November 19, 2020 ] Dr. Fauci Mistakenly Invites Entire Nation to His Home for Thanksgiving News
[ November 12, 2020 ] Trump Attacks TikTok in Attempt to Silence Sarah Cooper News
[ November 4, 2020 ] Trump Campaign Files Lawsuits Against 71,947,268 Biden Voters News
[ November 3, 2020 ] Dewey Defeats Truman News
[ April 10, 2018 ] Massive Data Breach Uncovered as Phone Companies Admit Publishing Names, Addresses and Phone Numbers of 200 Million Americans Money
[ April 5, 2018 ] Suspected Caravan of Asylum Seekers Traveling Through Mexico Turns Out to be Penniless Spring Breakers Returning From Cancun News

February 23, 2025

Researchers Discover Link Between Alcoholism and Paint-Can-Opening Tool

August 29, 2017 William F Barkley 0

Durham, NC (TDP) – After years of research, Duke University scientists have discovered a link between the high rate of alcoholism found among commercial painting contractors and the use of bottle […]

Jesus Responds to ‘He Gets Us’ Ad Campaign

February 26, 2024 0

The star of the recent ‘He Gets Us’ television advertisements, part of a Christian outreach campaign, was reached for comment today on the ubiquitous public service announcements. Jesus Christ, founder of Christianity and reigning head [...]
Local Man Worried He Left House Without Shutting Off Internet

February 26, 2021 0

Yeehaw Junction, RI (TDP) – Local resident Zeke Hawthorne, 61, became quite concerned recently after realizing he had left his Private Ridges Road home for a short trip with the internet still running. “You can’t be too careful,” the [...]
Dr. Seuss to Oversee COVID Vaccine Distribution

December 18, 2020 0

The ZEETCHES Now, the Mask-Wearing Zeetches Had masks on their faces. But the Bare-Faced Zeetches Wore none in the places. Those masks weren’t so big. They were really so small. You might think such a [...]
Republicans McConnell, Graham, Cruz Frantically Search Senate Utility Closets For Missing Testicles

November 21, 2020 0

Washington, DC (TDP) – Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY), senior Senator Lindsay Graham (R-SC), and Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) led a delegation of Republican congressman and officials in a frantic search through the Russell [...]
Dr. Fauci Mistakenly Invites Entire Nation to His Home for Thanksgiving

November 19, 2020 0

Washington, DC (TDP) – In a hastily-called news conference, Dr. Anthony Fauci, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, made a final, desperate plea to the American public regarding the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday. [...]
Trump Attacks TikTok in Attempt to Silence Sarah Cooper

November 12, 2020 0

Washington, DC (TDP) – With the clock ticking on the deadline for a shutdown of TikTok in the United States, sources within the Trump Administration have revealed the motivation behind the President’s vendetta against the Chinese-owned [...]

The Daily Parodian

"All the Newsprint That Fits"

Month: August 2017

Researchers Discover Link Between Alcoholism and Paint-Can-Opening Tool

Jesus Responds to ‘He Gets Us’ Ad Campaign

Local Man Worried He Left House Without Shutting Off Internet

Dr. Seuss to Oversee COVID Vaccine Distribution

Republicans McConnell, Graham, Cruz Frantically Search Senate Utility Closets For Missing Testicles

Dr. Fauci Mistakenly Invites Entire Nation to His Home for Thanksgiving

Trump Attacks TikTok in Attempt to Silence Sarah Cooper