Following through on a cornerstone promise of the 2016 campaign, President Donald Trump today announced that construction on the “great, great wall on our southern border” would begin immediately and that he had “made Mexico pay for it.” Trump arrived at the 901 Rhode Island Avenue Home Depot in the District of Columbia at 6:00 AM today with a supply list provided him by the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, and Chip Gaines of HGTV’s ‘Fixer Upper.’
Heading straight to the Building Materials aisle with Vice President Mike Pence in tow, Trump handed his enormous materials list to assistant department manager Bernie Gagen, 43, of Gaithersburg, Maryland. “This will be the largest DIY project in American history,” Trump said as Gagen checked on the availability of ten million cubic yards of cement and concrete and another one hundred million pounds of reinforcing steel.
Butting to the front of the contractor checkout line, Trump was asked if payment would be made in cash or credit. “Credit. Absolutely. 100%,” replied the recalcitrant billionaire, pulling out his wallet.
“MasterCard.”
“Enrique Peña Nieto.”